So Lohan, what’s the deal banana peel?

1)  You knew that you were on parole, did you really think you could stay under the radar in a charity boxing match that became international news, with judgments against you?
 
2) You took part in a press release to only draw more attention when you knew the whole time you weren’t able to participate.  For someone who knows the law pretty well (jailbird alert!) you should have known that a boxing match wouldn’t be feasible in November of 2008.

3) You didn’t show up at the Crazy Donkey for the kickoff party to explain to your supporters the circumstances.  Many people are supporting this cause because of your influence.  This is a great Long Island charity, why should they be bending over backwards for you?  In all seriousness, if you were ashamed or embarrassed, we’d understand.  The least you could have done is send your BFF Stephen Baldwin down, right?  Isn’t that what friends are for?   : )

4) “The Humanitarian Hitman” Bob Venero, has contributed nearly $30,000 to support a great cause and take on a Long Island “bad boy” in the ring.  Bob Venero steps up to the plate, puts in serious gym time, and you start acting shady? How could you play him like that?  Venero is now taking on two opponents in the name of charity.

Michael Lohan hasn’t completely turned his back on the charity, he’s just got a lot of people excited for nothing only to postpone the “main event” to a future date.  On the flipside, what if Michael Lohan didn’t know that this was violating his parole terms?   After all, this event is for charity and I believe Michael Lohan has a benevolent agenda.  Why would NY State make participation in a charity event a parole violation for Michael?  This is a controlled and sanctioned charity boxing event, not a street fight.  In Lohan’s defense, why is the NYS Parole board shutting him down?  Michael Lohan is a “changed man” and trying to make a differece in the community. What good is NYS doing from stopping him?

Radio DJ: “Are you nervous about losing, looking bad, have you thought about these possibilities?”

Bob Venero: “My name ends in a vowel and not coming there to lose.”

The Humanitarian Hitman has spoken.

Check out the website(s): www.bobthehitman.com and www.bobvslohan.com. Both links will direct you to the same page.

As the website has noted; Bob Venero is confident that he’ll be taking down Michael Lohan. “It’s not a matter of will he, but WHEN will he?” I admire Venero’s confidence in taking “A Shot at Lohan” (New reality series title?) In the past few days, Bob has been keeping up with his training regimen at the Heavy Hitters Boxing Club in Bohemia, NY.

Despite Bob Venero’s jet set lifestyle he’s remaining diligent this week with his workouts, on top of his PR game, (radio interview) and put together a nice website to log his training. Impressive!

We’ve heard little from Michael Lohan in the past few days. We all know that Lohan is a slippery eel and that freak Baldwin he’s attached at the hip to is no better. They are probably lounging together at night watching marathons of Rocky and tossing popcorn into each others mouths. Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if Lohan was wearing that horrific see-through shirt (nice nipples) and those lame cowboy boots.

Mike, it looks like you got some training to do buddy.

In a recent article on Starpulse, actor Stephen Baldwin has challenged US presidential candidate Barack Obama to a boxing match. Obama is sure to brush this one off. If he should he win the presidential election this November, Stephen Baldwin has vowed to leave the United States while calling Obama a “cultural terrorist”. (WTF?)

If Obama wins the election, who will replace Stephen Baldwin after his self-exile (Canada!) to judge the November slug-fest between Michael Lohan and Bob Venero?

What happened to the days when Stephen Baldwin used to be cool and make great movies? Seriously, how awesome was the movie Threesome back in 1994? Baldwin was the man when he played “Stuart”, a horny college student. It seems like those days are over, where now it’s become a “duo” between him and Michael Lohan.

Check out pictures of the BFF’s on their most recent trip to New York City! Splash News Online.

Bob Venero - President, Future Tech Enterprise Inc.

“The Humanitarian Hitman”

Bob Venero, President and CEO of Future Tech Enterprise Inc. has the heart of a champion and the much needed confidence to step in the ring with the “bad boy dad” himself, Michael Lohan (estranged father of Lindsey Lohan). Bob Venero will be entering the ring as “The Humanitarian Hitman” as he’s well-known for his generosity and involvement with numerous charities. Bob Venero will be stepping into the ring to take Michael Lohan down, making this the ultimate fight between good and evil.

During a press release at the Printing House Fitness and Squash Club in Manhattan today, Michael Lohan threw a punch at Bob Venero to show him that he’s not playing games. Venero, unexpectedly retaliated with harder shot back at Lohan and both men exchanged blows until being separated by boxing promoter Jeff Cohen. While being restrained, the two fighters stared each other down while exchanging words.

Stephen Baldwin will be one of the celebrity judges for the event who thinks that his buddy Michael Lohan will “do fine in the ring”. “But then again Bob is no slouch” he later said. Jeff Cohen expects to raise more than $100,000 for his charity as he later stated that this event “is going to be a war”. “Michael Lohan is not going down without a struggle and Bob Venero is not paying $30,000 to get humiliated. They will both be swinging for the fences”.

Michael Lohan Means Business.

There’s a lot of speculation over who Michael Lohan will be fighting on November 24th 2008. Since last week we’ve heard everything from his own daughter Lindsey Lohan, DJ Samantha Ronson, Perez Hilton, and Kevin Federline. Everyone needs to keep in mind is that this is a real fight. Michael Lohan will not be stepping into the ring and fighting a women, let alone his own daughter. It would be fun to see Perez Hilton get his ass kicked, but he’ll probably take the role of covering the “new happenings” of the fight on his website. I’m sure Michael Lohan will keep him in the loop as they are already in correspondence with each other. (Evidence!)

As far as Kevin Federline is concerned, I think he has little interest in fighting Michael. According to OK! Magazine, Michael Lohan stated: “Everyone wants me to fight K-fed because he’s a notorious celebrity dad and so am I,” Michael told OK! exclusively. “It’s for charity.” In addition to amusing those who want to see these two slug it out — the money would benefit the organization, Long Island’s Fight for Charity. But, adds Michael, this isn’t some touchy-feely event. “It’s serious boxing,” he explains. “You have to go get a trainer. I have to register with the Mature Boxing Association.”

In my opinion, Kevin Federline has enough on his plate to get involved in boxing shenanigans. Although there hasn’t been official word if he has accepted the challenge, I see this unlikely as K-Fed now has the sole custody of his two little boys Jayden James, and Sean Preston. K-Fed might accept a bully challenge from Lohan, but will probably decline as he now is playing the role of a responsible dad.

Shocking enough, K-Fed wasn’t Michael Lohan’s first choice! It was Richard Johnson, editor of the NY Post’s “Page 6” gossip column.

Michael Lohan could care less about the contender. He’s quoted saying: “I don’t care who it is; it’s for charity. I’ve been beaten up by the press, so I don’t care if I get a few shots by a kid half my age.” Best of luck to you Mike!

Jeff Cohen, (event organizer) believes there will be a solid turnout as the media will be all over the event. “Anybody who jumps into the ring with Michael Lohan will become famous,” Cohen said. There’s already speculation of Perez Hilton placing a bid to take a poke at Michael.

Personally, I think Michael Lohan is pretty bad-ass. He’s bound to deliver a serious ass-whooping to any challenger. (As long as it’s not Kimbo Slice, or maybe?) Michael Lohan has a temper the size of Mars, so I don’t think he’ll be going down that easy.

In pursuit of his keeping his life on track, (finding god, and laying off the sauce) the likelihood of those beer-muscles coming out are slim. I predict Michael will put in some serious training at the gym because a KO would be devastating and embarrassing. A win for the contender could propel their celebrity status to the next level. This bout is truly one for the history books!

In any case, I will be providing coverage of the event. Please check back for frequent updates as the saga unfolds.

Warm regards and best wishes,

Nicky Papers